New research shows that overall emotional suppression is socially foolish, for it partitions us off as alien to the rest of our predictably emotive human species, and thus makes it more difficult for us to create and maintain friendships and friendly work relations.
Ideally we keep emotions in our back pocket, to use when helpful (to paraphrase Swami Satchitananda). This does not mean we pretend to be emotional in order to manipulate others. Rather, it means that we are masters of these three emotional techniques -- as illustrated in the linked article above:
"Three components of regulation: concealing (i.e., suppression), adjusting (quickly calming anger, for instance) and tolerating (openly expressing emotion)."
Sometimes we will choose to suppress an emotion, so that we are not laughing at funerals, for example. At other times we will 'hiss' at an annoying one, for example, perhaps to keep a predator at bay. Then we will quickly calm ourselves when full safety has returned. And at still different times we may express our emotions fully, perhaps as at an aforementioned funeral; or raucous festive occasion; or loving relationship...
Like a dancer or musician or artist with a trillion potential creative actions at our beck and call, let us be expert emotional expressors creating a trillion variations from our emotional palette. Remember that emotional intelligence does not equal single-noted emotional rigidity. It equals trillion-noted emotional fluidity.
No comments:
Post a Comment